Enterprising, dynamic and audacious, the Chennai auto driver is the first thing you see when you place your foot outside the Central station in Chennai. The auto driver is blessed with the knack of identifying prospective auto-goers. Sleepy IT-goers sporting T-shirts, parents of NRIs and North Indians are easy pickings for him. He sports a friendly smile, makes an attempt at grabbing your suitcase from your hand and pursuing you to board his auto and all the while making sure of not revealing the charge. More often than not, his rate is equal to 60% of your train travel expenses.
As you discuss the rate, other auto drivers gather along to witness this deal. As any helpless customer would do, you would quote an amount that is half of what he quoted. They all smirk at what you say, as if you questioned Darwin's theory of evolution. But yes, don't lose hope and get deterred by all the contempt you face. Stick to your price. The automan, in turn , aided by his colleagues, quotes inflation, the price rise and the economics of it all, justifying his rate to the precision of Amaratya Sen. If he had a computer, I believe he would shown you price fluctuation comparisons in the form of excel charts of atleast 10 different colours. You in turn quote the distance being in the range of just 8-10 kms making a pretence of knowing Chennai routes. The driver brings up issues of traffic diversions and one-ways to counter you. Other auto drivers try to politely explain to you the concept of price rise and advice you to accept their man's rate, thereby making you feel like a dull student in an economics class.
Finally you arrive at 80% of his aforementioned amount and believe you made a deal out of it. And he is happy to have made a fool of you. Win-Win situation. The auto-driver takes your luggage acting as a porter until you reach his auto. As you walk along and reach his auto, you notice the picture of a tamil actor blocking most of his view on the glass. You pray for your safety. He starts the auto by pulling a lever from somewhere down suddenly. After a few unruly pulls of the lever, the auto budges and starts. He takes a U-turn and drives like he is going to save the earth from an asteroid. His auto makes a weird noise, which I feel resembles Amrish Puri's voice when he yells. He takes on everybody, overtaking buses from the left, driving zig zag in tandem with bikes, driving in parallel with other autos talking to his friends, taking a moment to spin Paan and dodging signals or any other form of safety mechanism. No one but the Chennai auto driver can abuse others inspite of the mistake being his own. In short, he is CEO material.
As he drives, giving you an experience of a VGP ride, you look at fear while the tamil star who is in the form of a sticker covering the entire rear view mirror smiles at you. You also notice the meter which for some reason exists for display purpose. I somehow feel that a meter visually completes the auto. But history quotes that meters were occasionally used in certain autos, some of them thermodynamically charged to run faster than the auto itself.
The auto driver has no qualms on anything . He just whizzes around you in his typical audacious manner. His rates may be exorbitant. But don't we all like to be slightly paid more? He may be impolite and rude. But at least he is being himself. Talk to him, and he speaks of how Chennai has changed around in the years, how IT has ruined the city, Rajnikanth and politics. He has simple opinions on things around him, unlike many of us who don't have one.
All said and done, I enjoy an auto ride . Especially when I travel early morning along Mount road gazing at LIC building and Spencers. And as for the auto driver, he is by far the super king on Chennai roads.
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